R.I.P Emma

R.I.P my beautiful baby. You had 10 wonderful years.
We had to put Emma to sleep yesterday, around lunch time, it was so so hard but the right thing to do, it was like she had just given up so even if we didn't to it it would not have been long just more painful if we hadn't helped.

The last two days have been pretty bad didn't sleep much Sunday night (understandably) then Monday was just a complete shit, I was so emotionly drained! My intake for Monday was 217 calories. I went for a 10km walk in the afternoon, I just needed to get out of the house and away from everybody.

Todays calories come in at 96 and another 10km walk along the beach front. I just can't be bothered going to the gym I have absolutely no energy but still need to do something!

I'm hoping for a decent loss this week, but with my fat arse you never know I could screw things up by Thursday, which is my weekly weigh in but then I also have the GP on Friday morning again and I assume she will weigh me again too. Not that I only have a weekly weigh in I weigh myself about 5 times a day. We're going away next week, just down the coast nothing exciting but I'm already stressed about not weighing for that long - I think I'll just have to take the scales with me. lol you know you're a little crazy when you take the scales on holidays. :/

Working tomorrow so will make it so much easier to not eat and noone to notice cause I can just flat out lie about what I had. My mum said when I woke up this morning did you only have two bowls of jelly yesterday I said NO and listed off a huge list of things I had, most I hadn't some I had.

Hopefully tomorrow will be another decent-ish day with calories.