Looking at jobs.

So today I've spent another day in the flat doing absolutely F all, no human contact really doesn't do me any good. Will try and go out tomorrow maybe to Oxford Street and do something shopping, I was planning on doing that today but just couldn't be bothered.

I've been looking at jobs back home, seeing what is out there if I decide to move back at the end of the year. There is really F all. And then there is the fact that I'm not sure I want to do nannying anymore. I've been doing it coming up 7 years and most of the time have loved it, and I went into it as a career not just one of those ones who does it on the side while studying. Lately I'm just so over it though, I'm not sure if I'm over this particular job or if I'm over being a nanny (or it's just my mind messing with itself as I'm not really in a 'healthy' frame of mind). The trouble is if I am over being a nanny what the F do I do? Everyone always says I should be teacher but I don't want to be a teacher, to be responsible for children's learning. Which I know I sort of am already but if I'm a teacher it's official and I don't want that responsibility knowing that if I'm crap it I put children's education back and that it would be all my fault.

I just don't know what direction my life is headed in.

Haven't thrown up today which is good. Consumed 574 disgusting calories. Why do I have to be such a fat pig?