463 calories

I have disappointed myself yet again, surprise, surprise. It is no wonder I am such a fat, ugly disgusting pig. I woke up today feeling much better than yesterday with intentions of sticking in the 200s but noooo big fat me was just too greedy and went to a total of 463 calories. I just couldn't stop eating! I am never going to get thin at this rate.

I'm breaking tomorrow, which I had planned all week but as it looms closer I am feeling worse and worse about it and if I could pull out I would. But with the goal of my flat mate and few friends I have here not thinking I am completely weird (more so than I'm sure they already do) I have to go along.

It comforts me very little knowing that for the past 5 days I have eaten the amount of calories a 'normal, healthy' women would eat in a day. Very little cause I could be eating so much less.

I'm starting to worry about the next trip Norway. We will be on their island where I will have absolutely no excuses I can't say I ate cause they will know I haven't. And we'll be there for 3 weeks, I'm absolutely dreading it. Not just the food. But these people think it will be great fun and so relaxing. Yah for them! They aren't the ones that look after their child that would be ME! I'm the one that will have no classes to take him to and nowhere to go, we can't even go for walk cause most of it is too rocky and steep for him. I'm the one that will have to watch him 24/7 so he doesn't fall off the cliff. Wish I could just stay in London.

Caking again tomorrow... am making a 3D handbag.