Did another cupcake course today. Overall I liked it, but I was rubbish at it. I hate being bad at something when everyone else around you is good. Don't mind it if we are all bad, well I do but not as much.
Start the ABC diet tomorrow. I was so excited about it but now I'm just depressed again - it's all I seem to be lately. I was so positive about it that I am finally going to get rid of this fat that is engulfing my body. I just need to get in that positive frame of mind again. I'm on my own but I can do this! No one thinks I'm serious but I can do it.
Whenever I lose any weight my mum is like 'now don't do anything stupid, you don't want to go back where you were'. The thing is I never left. I got fat. I hate people saying 'you've come so far' I feel like screaming at them I haven't, I haven't! Nothings changed apart from me being fat. I hate it, I absolutely despise it.
I'm going to kick off the ABC diet with taking some laxatives tonight.
I don't have an eating disorder:
I'm too fat.
Hey.. I know how youre feeling.. It sucks - like beating your head against a wall.. Everyone says "you used to be anorexic" but my head is still fucked.. Only difference is I am obese.
ReplyDeletegood luck for the ABC.. Alot of girls on here are giving it a try.. I want to but then I am scared - I fear planned calories..
Stay strong <3
Love Rayya x