Woke up this morning and felt really depressed, my birthday and all my family is across the other side of the world. Didn't have too much time to dwell on it though as had an early start at work and had to get my butt into gear.
For about 5 minutes this morning I was sooo happy. It was weigh day and I was an entire 2.5kg (5.5 pounds) I was beyond happy and excited. But then I went down as I remembered it's my birthday I'm going out to dinner, I'm having tea with my boss. I was so depressed about it I thought about cancelling everything but I couldn't how can I cancel tea with my boss when I'm already there? I am absolutely disgusted with myself started the day alright but then by mid afternoon I thought I'm already going to break tonight so why not just be a fat big and eat the two pieces of chocolate that are left ( from yesterday) then not only did I have a piece of cake with my boss I had 3 pieces of cake with my boss they were worth a good 225 calories (possibly more) each!!! FUCK ME! I then went out to dinner had a burger and fries and a cocktail. I feel like the fattest pig on earth. How on earth am I going to loose weight when I eat like that. I know all that I lost I have now put back on.
I'm just so disappointed with myself.
Also got this care parcel from my mum. easter eggs, red frogs, rusks, chocolate, biscuits what on earth am I going to do I feel too guilty to throw it all out she spent so much money on buying it and then posting it over. I've been looking about all the calories of it all so maybe if I have been good all week I can have on treat at the end of the week or something.
Really worried about how I'm going to go in Norway how am I not going to eat with people watching? The only plus side is they have an indoor swimming pool so can do laps every night.
Scored some good pressies. My mum got me, a few weeks ago when she was in London visiting, an Ipad for my birthday, I got a Cath Kidston travel bag and a beautiful smythson diary from my boss, I got 40 pounds (on an Australian laptop don't have the pound sign) worth of vouchers to Oliver Bonas from my room mates, $100 from 'grandma' I adopted her as my own but really the grandmother of the children I used to look after and the present from the kids I used to look after and my sisters are still on the way, so they say.
I've got a lot to be greatful for but all I feel like is a big fat ugly heffa.
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