Today I think I averaged about 1200 cals? Not sure. Why can't I do this? Why do I have to be this fat and ugly and disgusting? I'm just so over it. I hate myself so much and it is never going to change. Honestly apart from the last year which I've been living in London I have been seeing my shrink for what about 10 years my thinking hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is now I'm a fat fucking cow.
I disgust myself and everyone around me.
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