Ultimate FAIL

Well as the title suggests I completely failed at avoiding food at my charges 1st Birthday party today. I was good up until a certain point but about an hour into the party something snapped and I just ate everything in site. I would have gone over 2000 calories today, I feel awful. I didn't even get a nice sugar high, I just felt awful the entire time I was eating it but I just wouldn't  couldn't stop myself. I'm so disappointed, all I want to do is cut, but as I have enough ugly scars on my body I am trying not to.

On the way home I was still on my fuck it all attitude and stopped into McDonald's which just sent me over the edge and threw it up, so the McDonald's doesn't really count.

I really hope getting straight back on track tomorrow is going to effect my weigh in on Wednesday too much. I know I have to start again for my under 600 calories a day but am hoping against hope that I haven't done too much damage. Stressing out about it.

Tomorrow morning I have boot camp training in the park with my room mate, first time we're doing it I'm quite looking foward to it. Then going to have a break of exercise on Sunday and Monday and go back to the gym on Tuesday night.

I'm so angry with myself, I can't believe I did that today. Like I didn't even enjoy it you know. I just felt ill after it all. Hopefully that will stop me eating crap tomorrow when we go to this International Cake show.

Hope everyone else is doing better than me.