We meet again

Here you are again my friend,

I've missed you.

But I knew, as did you, that you would return to me,

you always do.

Here you are on your hands,

kneeling before me, I am your master.

I see you looking down at your fat,

your fat thighs, your fat stomach,

your rolls upon rolls of flesh.

It makes you want to cry,

and you sit there blubbering away.

It's OK I croon,

your fingers can fix this.

If you had control and power you wouldn't be here with me,

if you didn't break our unwritten law,

I would not have called for you.

YOU ate it, you disgust me,

And you wonder why you're too fat for words.

I don't.

Trying to prevent a binge!

I have spent the entire day, pretty much, in bed trying not to eat. I have stuck to my 200 calories for today, had a total of 182. But all day I have just wanted to order a pizza with a garlic crust, and down a tub of ice cream and eat chocolate cake and just eat tasty fattening food. I have resisted though which is good.

Nothing else to write, as I've done nothing today. Am off to watch more Dexter to keep me out of the kitchen until bedtime.

Going strong

ABC Diet is still going strong, today's 100 calorie day went surprisingly well.  I think I mucked up a bit yesterday not completely sure what the calories were though so I'm going to say I went over (but I may not have) so  I will have less of my allowed calories tomorrow to make up for it. I don't feel bad doing that cause I was reading on the internet that there is really no rhyme  or reason to the specific days someone just wrote them down and that was it.

The scales say I have already lost weight... well yah 5 days I would bloody hope so but I don't think I've lost as much as they say. Why is it I always believe when I have a monster weight gain but not the loss?

So my sisters baby is officially a boy :) and I've started shopping, I'm thinking since it was conceived in London I would get a London suitcase (not a real one, just a touristy thing) and buy loads of clothes and things over here that they don't sell in Australia. I went into Ralph Lauren today (yes they do sell that in Aust, we're not that bad, but never go there) it was a bit depressing that the first time I shopped there and it isn't even for me. But they were having a huge sale so got three cute little outfits that my sister will LOVE.

Bit worried about Norway next week and keeping to the diet, I've really only got one day to worry about before I fly back for the Olympic opening ceremony but then I have to go back again :/ oh well I'll figure something out.

Actually had willpower!

Surprise, surprise today I actually had some willpower. For those of you who didn't just fall off you chair in dis-belief I shall tell you of power I possessed today. So took M for a play at a friends house and her nanny was like 'don't brink lunch for M I'll make them something' so without much hesitation off we went. Only to arrive and see that she had purchased pizza and garlic bread from Tesco (two of my most favourite things to eat). So lets leave out the fact that M isn't even allowed to eat stuff like that, all has to be home made by me. So there he was eating it and there it was smelly so good and Laura kept on offering me some and I kept on saying no, and she kept trying to tempt me. I said no I have some great chicken soup waiting for me when we get back and she said it would have as many calories as pizza and garlic bread. Laughed to myself yah right my 50 calorie soup is as much as pizza!

So any who managed to only have one small bite of M's pizza and one even smaller bite of his garlic bread. I got home to my revolting soup which I crumbled a Melba Toast (worth an entire 13 calories) to make believe I had some tasty croutons in it. I was so proud of myself.

Have stuck to my 300 calorie limit for the day... 299 to be precise. Maybe even a bit less cause I very much overestimated the calories for 2 bites of food, as I didn't want to under estimate and be over my allowance without realizing it.

The bad news of the day is I gained. 300 grams! Which I am not killing myself over as I'm on the ABC and it is giving me hope. Plus I have already lost since the start of this diet yay :) but considering I only lost what I put on the week before it doesn't count.

Am totally set for tomorrows 400 bit concerned about Fridays 100 but I'm sure I'll manage.

Crossing off day 2 :)

Am officially crossing off day two, although to be fair, it isn't much of a challenge at 500 calories I mean really that's a normal days intake. Didn't do any exercise, apart from walking to and from classes with M all day which would easily be about 3-4 miles added up, but that's alright as I'm not focusing on exercise.. do I ever lol. It's all about sticking to the food.

Weigh in tomorrow morning, dreading it!

Finally good day.

So restarted the ABC diet today, after my massive failure yesterday :/ and went really well. So was my 500 calorie day and had 454, plus I walked to work so really my net (which I don't count in AT ALL) is 104 so not too shabby at all. Didn't quite make it the entire way to work, only 1.5 hrs, I must have been walking slower than usual cause I only had 30 mins left for a 35 - 40 minute walk so hopped a bus most of the way then walked again at the end which got me there on time.

Two of the children we went for play dates last week have come out in chicken pox... is it bad that I am hoping M gets it so we don't have to fly? lol.

Today's success has really put me in a good mind for tomorrow. Just need to do the same cause it's a 500 day again.

Not looking forward to weigh in on Wednesday morning, I know I've gained I've been awful this week.

Ruined it.

Well surprise, surprise, I ruined it! I can't do anything right. But I will be starting the ABC diet tomorrow AND sticking to it. Went to the shops and got lots of different low calories foods so I am all set. I have also written it in my thinspiration book so I can't not do it cause then I would have ruined the entire book.

It sort of works out a bit better this way to. On the day I will be flying it will be about a 400 cal day (can't quite remember) which means I can eat something on the plane and then fast the next day where I can say I feel a bit ill or not that hungry and then the next day I fly out so even if she says something it will only be for one day. I come back for the weekend and have to get through 5 days with out too many questions before I fly back again. So hopefully it will work.. I just need to get my fat ass into gear and have some willpower.

I'm working to work again this week. Hopefully will help me stick to the diet even more. Everybody I tell that I'm working to work, which takes 2 hours, says I'm absolutely crazy and to stop doing it. Not my boss though she thinks it's good and when I don't do it says I should be. I wonder if she just doesn't want to employ my fat ass and wants me to lose weight.