Back from Australia

So I'm back in London safe and sound. The flying wasn't to bad, on the way back got upgraded to business class from Singapore to Dubai which was a fab bonus!

I missed my weigh in this morning, as I was at M's grandparents house fetching him and bringing him back to London (god forbid his mother do anything) but that means I didn't have ANY scales... freaking out!
I know I've put on since I last weighed. Since the last time I posted on here I lost (after my awful monster gain) but I am thinking I have put on again. It has really got to stop I've got to get everything back into control!

This side of the trip I also need to make a decision about if I'm staying in London or moving home. I JUST DON'T KNOW!

Will weigh tomorrow and see what damage I have done. My sister arrives on Friday.. which means even more eating gah I'm so sick of it!

Off down under!

Won't hear from me for a few days, well nearly a week if I don't post at all, but I might get a chance to do one post?
Can't wait to see everyones face when I arrive at the party :) so proud of myself that i kept it a secret!

Weigh in tomorrow NOT looking foward to it as if I gained last week (when I was bad but not that bad) I would have gained again this week. FUCK!

I am all set to get serious about things when I get back from Australia though!

So excited as well, not for the 26+ hours of getting home but for the way back for the last leg from Dubai to London I have used ALL of my points and upgraded to business class. Stoked! So yes I have to survive the trip there, then the 14 or so hours to Dubai on the way back but then I'm in BUSINESS CLASS!

No Chocolate :)

So made it without having chocolate bars today YAY! Honestly last week I had about 5 in one day. I still ate way more than I should but baby steps.
What actually kept me to it was knowing that I would have to fess up on here. I think when I get back from Australia I am really going to have to start doing my blog properly again and writing down what I eat all day and knowing people are reading it and thinking what a fat fucking cow I am will keep me in line (I hope).
So I am going to try and save this 100 day challenge as soon as I get back to London. When I land I have until the end of the week until my sister arrives and then another week until we go away on holiday so I'm pretty sure if I start walking to work again I can not gain anymore (and hopefully loose) I should be able to have just have my apple and something small for lunch and get away with having one meal with my sister (if that) hopefully some nights she will go and catch up with friends from when she lived over here. Then we go away on our Top Deck tour to eastern europe which some meals are included and since I'm such a fussy eater I am hoping I won't like half the stuff.

No chocolate.

My eating is completely out of control.
Tomorrow my only goal is to not have chocolate. When I leave work I am leaving my debit card and wallet there so I can't buy anything on the way home.
A few weeks ago I was so looking foward to flying home for the engagement party , not I'm just a big fat sack of lard.

Monstrous Weight Gain :(

I haven't been on for a while The first day or so was because I was eating way too much and didn't want to write it on here as I was to ashamed. Then the last few days I haven't been on because of Wednesday was weigh in. I'm still traumatized by it.

So on Saturday I had my sneaky mid week weigh in and I was the same (which is what set me off eating). So in what 4 days? I gained.... wait for it. 5.2KG OH MY FUCKING GOD! That is the entire weight I have lost on my 100 day challenge so far BACK. I'm just gutted. My sister said it was impossible to gain that much in one week I said it can't be impossible CAUSE IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED! So I've been depressed and eating ever since.

Some black guy named Dan tried to pick me up on the bus on the way home just now. Quite good looking, but seriously?! I did give him my number - he said he would call. He probably won't and if he does I probably won't answer... I hate talking on the phone. And quite frankly anyone actually interested in me needs there fucking head read. Imagine if he saw me naked - spew!

The Diet Starsts

The super strict diet starts tomorrow, need to do something extreme, especially after the amount of food I ate this weekend.. it's revolting! Actually really excited about it, I know I can do it cause I was doing it just a few weeks ago I just need to stay strong and keep my goals in mind.

Did a cake decorating course today, just basic. Was fab, quite proud of my cake too ofcourse there are lots of bits I can improve on but for a first effort I think I did really well.

Today I actually felt really happy. Which is just weird. Is it even weirder to say that it's weird to feel happy?

Not looking foward to Wednesdays weigh in cause I know even if I am extra good until then I will have put on weight.

Thinspo

One day I'll be thin and pretty. 

I promise.